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Sidewalker: Demos

by Beautiful Ground

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1.
My Jar 10:02
Cut from the common cloth To almighty God, he was an albatross Caught on the withered bark Did he try the odds with his wings plucked off? Yep. Once, when I was young and true I saw an eggshell blue when I just woke up Now, if I shut my eyes It’s to conserve the light in an extra room Red as the fruit of strawberry tree lovers No one said this would be easy Well, no one said it never would Still, my jar will well with starry skies From the blacktop underneath But I'd trade in my lot of boyish dreams If you came back to me Oh yeah With nobody to lay to rest I buried a photo of us instead Said a few kind words, read a line of verse That I did not believe, I would not be deceived On the moonlit eve of the anniversary I slithered back between the bars With a jarful of sand and a shovel in hand A single grain for every hour I waited, waning, wasting I was so close now, I could taste it The sweet earth gave in to me easy So I could work unseen from the unlit street Soon, my blade feigned a spark in the cavernous dark I bit my lip and split the difference with my fingertips Oh, and came up empty as a store-bought shell Gone was the picture I'd preserved so well And, in its place, an empty space, my mind was racing It had to mean... it had to be you You took it, you were looking for me I drew it then from memory with my penknife On a chip of withered bark, left my love and our new address Crossed my heart - no, clutched my chest August crowns again, no word from you The latest tasteless remake plays on channel 22 But I don't watch, I take a worn-out piece of paper from my pocket I caved and made myself a copy Squatters crowd the house I built for you One of these days, I'll make them pay Each one another copy of a copy of a copy of a copy Of a copy of a copy, I can't see your face Down along the waves You used to be so brave Pitching headfirst over heels Till a titan pulled you under And the tide dragged you out The sky was growing dark They were packing up the car But you were too scared to cry for help And the last thing you saw Was your ghost going home If you came back to me I'd give up every- Can you feel the sun washing over you? Can you feel it too?
2.
This virgin night, I'm burning bright Despite the miles of lonely country road to go Before I sleep Cos here I am, guitar in hand In No Man's Land, my heart, it led me here to show me It ain't beat Atop this rock, I'll break my thoughts apart And isolate the little ones from the ones That'll never die And write a song about a song About how long it's been since I witnessed The monolith of time I think it'll go: I flew from Hartford to New Orleans where my momma used to live Every summer since I was born until Katrina buried it And, to this day, my clearest memory don't make a lick of sense It isn't wistful or commemorative, it's just this image Of contiguous, identical diamonds fastened on an anchored plane I'm pulled in tight and turned inside to find it etching on my brain And then the engines spring to life and we begin to taxi, I see It was only a pattern woven into the fabric on the seat in front of me It was only a pattern woven into the fabric on the seat in front of me It was only a pattern woven into the fabric- I can't think But under my breath, I say to myself 'You will remember this moment When you're moments from death' I couldn't tell you why My kid and I, we kill our time Discussing lines and shapes and Concepts that might never be worth a damn It's not a self-indulgent thing We really only want to bring Ourselves to fully understand When we all have the chance to work with our hands You'll jerk us around, we won't hold it against you What am I saying? I've got egg on my face How'd I find my way into this mess in the first place? I hope for the best and keep coming in third Playing it close to the chest like I'm nursing a flush Call my bluff, but a shy pair of fives brought This bird back to health that was wrenched from its nest I can't put it back now with its feathers unfledged- it'll fall And I don't want to be held accountable at all But back to the moment- it bothers, you don't it? When will this one go and the next one take over? Can we extend it? Could we break from within it? Want to make us a memory or would a mantra be murder? I don't think they heard, you're getting too wordy Letting your verse run ahead of your virtue Well, I gotta meet curfew, say goodbye sweet worldview And pardon me miss, I don't mean to disturb you But you said you'd never change and changed your mind It's a lie that I've been told all my life, all my life I bet you'd think it strange if you knew I prayed That you come back to me eventually But, factually, I don't believe in anything I read Especially the writing on the wall These days, it's only dreams that get me out of bed at all So, tell me, who was ever hurt by a little hollow ritual? It's you, in other words, who has the problem here I'm not delaying inevitabilities I've just embraced my self-fulfilling prophecy What you call responsibilities, I call impossible To please these people you don't even know I know it's not for me
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5.
Who R U 01:27
Who are you And how fast ya coming? Ever since I was a little boy I told my parents No more listening - bad If you wanna go I'll show the way back to home I'll show you Everyone is a liar And no one wants to stay Who are you And how fast ya coming?

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released June 8, 2013

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Beautiful Ground Hartford, Connecticut

songs by James DM

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